


Scuridae

by SongofThunder



Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, We Do Not Talk About The Squirrels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 03:14:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15110648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongofThunder/pseuds/SongofThunder
Summary: A collection of intertwined stories about why We Do Not Talk About the Squirrels.





	Scuridae

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I particularly like writing about the Forbidden. Also on Tumblr. Was submitted a while ago.

"We Do Not Talk About The Squirrels.”

“Why?”

“Look, I don’t know, but I’ve been here too long to not listen.”

-

A crow and a squirrel are engaged in a furious fight on the grounds.

Arwena sees it, sees the crowd around it, and runs over to break them apart.

She shoos the crow off, and pokes the squirrel to get it away from the crow.

The crows do not get mad at her. To them, this is not a Wrong. This is an Infraction, or a Gesture of Peace. They cannot decide which, and so they leave her alone. The squirrels are the same. They wanted to finish the fight, but at the same time they knew that the crows may even have won, and the valiant squirrel could have lost his life.

Arwena recieves near-perfect green acorns attached to a leafy twig tucked under her windshield wipers, and it is only because that day had iced her windshield over that she does not accidentally crush them.

The squirrels are not sure whether to make peace or swear her in as an enemy, but they will show gratitude all the same.

-

“Let me tell you a thing about squirrels,” the wildlife preserver tells him: “They are predators.”

Which, as much as everyone wants to believe she is lying, is true.

Squirrels cannot help their tiny size. They can’t help that cats and dogs are faster, that hawks are deadlier.

But to anything that is smaller than a squirrel, or  _ever so slightly_  larger rather than simply larger, squirrels are the worst thing you can ever encounter.

Squirrels have sharp, deadly claws, long, deadly teeth, camouflage to blend into the dirt, they can climb trees up and back in a matter of seconds, and squirrels, no matter where you are- are  _fast._

Crows, however, are built to fight in the sky, or fight larger and bulkier animals, mammals, and Gentry.

Crows on the ground have a horrible disadvantage.

Let me tell you another thing about squirrels: Squirrels eat eggs. And baby chicks.  _Crow eggs and crow chicks._

This, as you can imagine, makes the crows  _furious._

Do. Not. Wrong. The. Crows.

The feud between squirrels and crows goes back to, well, ever since they were Made or Born or however animals were created.

It is extremely unwise to take a side, but you can fade to neutral again if you realize before it is too late.

At Elsewhere, the Gentry-touched paranormal potluck- well, the moment the squirrels let you feed them, it’s already  _far_  too late.

-

A student hears the stories about squirrels, but they are a major in biology and cannot help but heal the injured squirrels, cannot help but feed them, cannot help but leave out nuts for them as well as cream for the Gentry.

The squirrels grow stronger on their offerings, and are faster, more agile, and all the more dangerous to the crows.

Strengthening the enemy, the crows believe, means slaughter.

Slaughter is a Wrong.

And  _never_  are you to Wrong the crows.


End file.
